Just a heads up.

If ever I need a transplant of any kind, or want to rid the world of poverty/racism/child abuse/gang warfare/misuse of apostrophes, just know that I will not post a picture of my cause on Facebook, promising that ‘1000 likes and I’ll get a free brain transplant, save 12 Mongolian orphans and have fairies shoot out of my asshole’. Why? Mainly because the odds of ‘liking’ a picture leading to a free organ or world peace are similar to those of you buying a guitar and becoming Jimi Hendrix. The intent is there, but you’re too lazy and/or stupid to actually do anything with it.

If you would really like to help any cause I may ever have, you can do so in a tangible way that I promise will get results. Take your misplaced sense of altruism, and just give me all your money. And your liver.

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