Things I am not here for in 2018

  • ‘Inspirational’ hashtags. I am not here for the vain attempts of people to grow an Instagram following by adding 6000 hashtags to every picture they post. Stop using #blessed to get strangers on the internet look at your boring pictures of wonky horizons and black and white selfies. In all honesty, I don’t really give a shit what people put on their own social media – but stop trying to act like the salad you made for lunch warrants being called #blessed #positivevibes #goodformysoul or #purehappiness. If all it takes for you to achieve pure happiness is to make a salad, you should be writing a fucking cookbook, not a hashtag.

 

  • Silence in the face of racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic bullshit. Don’t use gay/homo/f*ggot as insults. Don’t say shit about immigrants taking your jobs. Don’t be a loser who says things like Muslims are terrorists/Indians own dairies/all Asian people look the same. It doesn’t make you anything other than a big, steaming pile of ballbags. Don’t use the culture of others as costume or gimmick (take that bindi off your fucking head). Don’t laugh about not knowing which pronouns to use with someone who has transitioned. Don’t make jokes about rape. Don’t laugh at jokes about rape. Don’t whine about the friend zone, because women don’t owe you shit just because you’re nice to them. And if people do any of this in front of you (or any of the countless other small but significant ways people say ‘fuck you’ to minority groups) – say something. Otherwise, in your silence, you are complicit. And make no mistake: that is just as bad.

 

  • Trying to dress my three year old in anything other than what she chooses to wear. Because honestly, who cares that she wants to wear four necklaces, sparkly shoes and reindeer antlers with her togs when we go to the supermarket? I don’t. I don’t care at all. It’s a battle I am not fighting, because she looks bloody excellent.

 

  • Businesses that deliberately use spelling mistakes as a marketing gimmick. Sorry Kool Kutz, your inability to spell properly makes me doubt your skillz as a hair ztylizt too.

 

  • Leaving six month gaps between posting here. I am aiming for every second Sunday, but I am notoriously inconsistent, so if I stick to it…consider yourself #blessed…
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