This will be updated regularly because my kid is out the gate.

• ‘Your tummy is squishy like slime eh Mum?’
• Someone called her heinous because she was throwing a tantrum, and she said ‘I’m not a penis’
• ‘I put a booger in my mouth’
• ‘Can you see my face? I’m angry’
• ‘I don’t like tractors, I like washing machines and vacuum cleaners and building’
• She was showing someone her heart shaped glasses and they said ‘love-hearts’. She said ‘no you don’t love hearts, you love triangles’
• ‘I don’t fart with my bottom. I just do poos with my bottom’
• ‘You are being adicklious’ (code for ridculous)
• ‘Can I ride on a camel when I’m bigger?’
• ‘We don’t touch peoples’ boobs eh Mum? We only look at them’
• ‘Can I smell you?’
• ‘Mum can I pat the baby?’
• She was frowning while she went to the toilet, and when I asked if she was ok she said ‘yes I’m just getting poos out of me’
• We walked outside on a cold morning: ‘Brrr, it’s a bit chimney’
• ‘I’ve got two girls. They’re called Menassy and Bejinny’
• ‘Mum look at my hands. They’re beautiful eh?’
• She found a dead butterfly on the lawn, and was carrying it around in a container. I bumped into the container, and said ‘oops sorry’. She said ‘say sorry to my butterfly’, and when I did, she said ‘she’s not talking to you because she’s dead’
• After having curry for dinner: ‘Mum does my wees smell like curry?’
• ‘There’s bird poo in my eye’ (there wasn’t)
• ‘Mum I like your boobs’
• ‘Mum do you know squids have a beak under they fanny?’
• ‘Mum can you move the sun out of my eyes?’
• ‘My grandpa was swallowed by a chicken’
• I told her her hands were freezing, and she said ‘yeah because I’ve been in the freezer’
• ‘[My daycare teacher] is naughty because she locks me in a cage’
• ‘Im just pretending to be a girl’
• ‘Love you my gorgeous dear’
• ‘What is the purpose of your face?’